Barb and I have an amazing group of friends who we meet with every two weeks to discuss parenting, marriage, friendship, and life. Last night, it was posed during our chat…”what Is your primary drive In life and why?”
This hit me at a pivotal moment because I was already pondering this writing you are currently reading. As I use my common metaphorical teaching tool (Superman), I pose a further deeper question…What Is your kryptonite, when did you receive it, and how’s It working out for you now?
I can only speak for myself as a comparison, so I’ll give you insight into my psyche and how it has played out. As a child, I was quiet, shy, and fairly Insecure. I did well in studies and read a lot, but really kept to myself. I didn’t get into sports or clubs, which lead to further Introversion and honestly, fear. As I progressed through grade school, I intellectually knew what I wanted , but kept gradually descending into further shyness and loneliness.
By middle school, I had grown weary of the situation, and as most of you know, began studying martial arts. The problem is that I didn’t really gain any sort of confidence despite it all until much later. I was a doctor by this point, had a generally successful dojo, and was doing well in spite of myself.
A few years back, I was still struggling with the same redundant insecurities that had always been there, but realized these insecurities were why I was driven to be successful. Meanwhile, I was constantly burned out, struggling financially, not maintaining my health as I wanted, and I was simply not what was depicted on the outside. My mind was as it Is now, but I was struggling just to maintain a healthy flow. I’m sure many of you can relate.
Here’s my long winded point….you have to absolutely identify what Is holding you back, what is driving you, what is constantly looming in your mind. I could never actually turn my mind off for fear I would fail and crash.
When I realized that all of this was absurd, and that there are absolute priorities in life that have to govern, I started to heal. I’m personally in an amazing marriage; my friends, family, patients, and students have never been so intentional as now. I learned what was important for happiness and success rather than listening to the inner insecure voice telling me I was never going to be good enough.
Some may find this to be too much information, but this is part of what is making my future so much more fulfilled. To be intentional, honest, transparent and hopefully help many of you along the way. Otherwise, I pray you live well despite your own personal kryptonite.
I’m hoping to have many of you journey along with me so I’m not that lonely little boy in my second act….and honestly, I’m ok with myself if I had to move along alone….that’s the bonus….luckily, I’m blessed with countless relationships, but mostly, my beautiful wife.
My suggestion Is to dig down deep…find your personal “kryptonite” and smash the sh%$#t out of it. If you need help, I have much experience to offer In your journey.
I wish you well.
Kyoshi Michael Downs